Renewal of Vows and 
Blessings after Marriage In Civil 
(Non Church) Ceremony elsewhere

Renewal of Vows & Service of Dedication and Prayer Following a Civil Marriage

Whether you are celebrating a special wedding anniversary or seeking a church blessing after a civil ceremony, we offer special services tailored to the size and style of your celebration.

 

1. Renewal of Vows

This service is suitable for couples who have been married for at least two years and is often held to celebrate a milestone anniversary—such as a 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th, or 50th wedding anniversary.

 

There are two ways to celebrate your Renewal of Vows:

 

• Option 1: The Informal Service

   

  • Style & Guests: A very informal, intimate service with no hymns and a small number of guests seated together in the central chancel.

     

  • Cost: Free of charge (a donation is requested on the day).

     

• Option 2: The Formal Service

   

  • Style & Guests: A grand occasion with lots of guests. This includes music for the entrance, exit, and during the service, with the option to include hymns.

     

  • Cost & Fees: While churches vary in what they charge, our church charges 90% of the standard DCC (District Church Council) wedding fee; there is no DBF (Diocesan Board of Finance) fee. A verger is required for this service, while all other additions—such as bells and a choir—are optional.

     

2. Service of Dedication and Prayer Following a Civil Marriage (Option 3)

This service is ideal for couples who have had a wedding abroad and now wish to celebrate with friends and family at home, or for couples who married in a hotel or civil venue and would now like to have a church celebration.

 

• Important Pastoral Note on Remarriage: When the Church of England feels unable to conduct a wedding for a divorcee—due to previous circumstances not meeting the criteria of the Bishop’s guidelines—a Service of Dedication and Prayer is offered instead.

   

• Service Wording: The standard wording for this service is similar in spirit to a marriage blessing, and it is also completely acceptable to use the Renewal of Vows wording if the couple prefers to renew their vows as part of the service.

   

• Cost Options: The two cost options (Informal/Donation on the day or Formal/90% DCC Fee) are exactly the same as those for the Renewal of Vows.

   

Arriving at the Church (How You Walk In)

• Walking in Together: For a Renewal of Vows service, it works best for the couple to walk into the church together. When a couple walks in together, it is important for the congregation to be seated before the couple arrives so that everyone can applaud as they walk down the aisle.

   

• Bride Walking in with Her Father: For both the Renewal of Vows and the Service of Dedication and Prayer after a Civil Marriage,  we doe permit the Groom to wait in the church while the Bride walks in with her father. However, this arrangement works best if it is a Service of Dedication held within a year or so of the legal marriage.

   

How to Book: Our Process

1. Initial Enquiry: Virginia will send you an email explaining the service styles and cost options.

    

2. Your Details: To proceed, you will need to provide:

    

   • Your full names

      

   • Email address

      

   • Phone number

      

   • Full postal address and postcode

      

   • Your chosen service from the four options:

      

     1. Paid (Formal) Renewal of Vows

         

     2. Donation (Informal) Renewal of Vows

         

     3. Paid (Formal) Service of Dedication and Prayer after a Civil Marriage

         

     4. Donation (Informal) Service of Dedication and Prayer after a Civil Marriage

         

3. Meeting the Team: Once you have sent this information back to Virginia, at office@allsaintswhitstable.com  she will pass your details on to Jayne, who will arrange to meet with you both to plan your service.

    

Order of Service 1: Renewal of Vows

(Step-by-Step Guide & Full Service Wording)

 

1. Entrance Music

• What happens: As the service begins and the Groom and Bride enter, the opening music is played.

   

2. Introduction & The Welcome

• What happens: The minister welcomes the people, introduces the service informally, and invites those present to pray. The minister then greets the congregation with a formal Christian greeting, and everyone responds together.

   

• What is said:

   

  Minister: The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.

  All: And also with you.

• What happens next: This sentence may be used—the minister reads a short Bible verse about God's love:

   

  Minister: God is love, and those who live in love live in God and God lives in them. (1 John 4.16)

3. Prayer of Preparation

• What happens: The minister leads a short opening prayer asking God to bless the Groom and Bride so they may continue in love throughout their lives.

   

• What is said:

   

  Minister: God our Father, you have taught us through your Son that love is the fulfilling of the law; grant to your servants [Groom] and [Bride] that, loving one another, they may continue in your love until their lives' end; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

  All: Amen.

4. The Preface (The Purpose of Marriage)

• What happens: The minister explains why everyone has gathered—to give thanks for their married life—and speaks about the Christian meaning of marriage as a gift from God for comfort, faithfulness, and family life. At the end of the Preface, the minister asks the Groom and Bride directly if they wish to renew their vows, and the couple reply together.

   

• What is said:

   

  Minister: We have come together in the presence of God to give thanks with [Groom] and [Bride] for their years of married life, to rejoice together and to ask for God's blessing. As our Lord Jesus Christ was himself a guest at the wedding in Cana of Galilee, so through his Spirit he is with us now.

  Marriage is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace; it is given that a husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in times of need as well as in plenty, in sadness and in joy, in sickness and in health; it is given that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children may be born and nurtured in accordance with God's will, to his praise and glory. In marriage a couple belong together and live life in the community; it is a way of life created and hallowed by God, that all should honour. Therefore we pray with them that, strengthened and guided by God, they may continue to fulfil his purpose for their life together.

  Minister: It is now your wish to renew your vows?

  Groom and Bride: It is our wish.

5. Readings, Sermon & Music

• What happens: Next comes a Bible reading on love, a short talk (address) by the minister, and music or hymns:

   

  • Bible Reading: 1 Corinthians 13 (St Paul's passage on love: "Love is patient, love is kind...")

     

  • The Address: A short talk/reflection by the minister.

     

  • Song / Hymn: A chosen piece of music or hymn.

     

6. The Renewal of Vows

• What happens: This is the heart of the service. The minister invites the Groom and Bride to remember the promises they made on their wedding day. Husband and wife face each other and hold hands. First the Groom speaks to the Bride, then the Bride speaks to the Groom, and then they say the main vow together in unison. Afterward, the minister asks the congregation to promise their continued support.

   

• What is said:The minister says to the couple(s):

   

  Minister: I invite you now to recall the vows that you made at your wedding.

  (Husband and wife face each other and hold hands.)The husband says:

   

  Groom: I, [Groom], took you, [Bride], to be my wife;

  The wife says:

   

  Bride: I, [Bride], took you, [Groom], to be my husband;

  The couple say together:

   

  Groom and Bride (Together): to have and to hold from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this was our solemn vow. Today, in the presence of our family and friends, we affirm our continuing commitment to this vow.

  The minister says to the congregation:

   

  Minister: Will you, the family and friends of [Groom] and [Bride], continue to support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come?

  All: We will.

  ​

7. The Blessing of the Rings

• What happens: The minister prays over their wedding rings so that they continue to be a daily reminder of the covenant they made on their wedding day. Then, the Groom and Bride either exchange a ring (or rings) or touch each other’s wedding rings while speaking words of love and honour.

   

• What is said:

   

  Minister: Heavenly Father, source of everlasting love, revealed to us in Jesus Christ and poured into our hearts through your Holy Spirit; that love which many waters cannot quench, neither the floods drown; that love which is patient and kind, enduring all things without end; by your blessing, let these rings be to [Groom] and [Bride] symbols to remind them of the covenant made on their wedding day, through your grace in the love of your Son and in the power of your Spirit.

  All: Amen.

  If a ring (or rings) is to be given, these words are used—or, if not, each may touch the wedding ring(s) with the words:

   

  Groom / Bride: I gave you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

8. Prayers of Blessing & Thanksgiving

• What happens: The couple kneel together. The minister or others may pray, using these or similar prayers. First, the minister pronounces a prayer of blessing over the Groom and Bride. Then follows a longer prayer thanking God for their friendship, love, commitment, and trust, praying for their family, and asking God to bless their home with security and peace.

   

• What is said:

   

  Minister: God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve and keep you; the Lord mercifully grant you the riches of his grace that you may please him both in body and soul, and, living together in faith and love, may receive the blessings of eternal life.

  All: Amen.

  Minister: Almighty God, our heavenly Father, we lift up our hearts to you through Jesus Christ our Lord. Through him you have made a covenant of grace with your people by the outpouring of your Holy Spirit. We praise you for the gift of marriage in which the love of husband and wife is brought together and reflects your plan of love for the world. We thank you today for [Groom] and [Bride] and for leading them to each other in friendship and love, commitment and trust, and for bringing them here for the blessing of their marriage.

  Living God, by the presence of your Holy Spirit, may they know the risen Christ to be with them now, as they celebrate this covenant together. May their lives be a witness to your saving love in this troubled world.

  As you pour out your love, may they grow together in your sight, and each be to the other a companion in joy, a comfort in sorrow and a strength in need. As you blessed the earthly home at Nazareth with the presence of your Son, may their home be a place of security and peace. And bring us all at the last to that great marriage banquet of your Son in our home in heaven, where, with all your saints and angels, in the glory of your presence, we will for ever praise you; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

  All: Amen.

9. The Lord's Prayer

• What happens: Everyone joins together in saying the traditional Lord's Prayer.

   

• What is said:

   

  Minister: As our Saviour taught us, so we pray:

  All: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever. Amen.

10. The Dismissal, Final Blessing & Recessional Music

• What happens: To bring the service to a close, the Groom and Bride may say a short prayer of dedication together, offering their lives and love to God. The minister then gives the final blessing over the couple and the whole congregation, and the closing music plays as everyone leaves.

   

• What is said:The couple may pray together:

   

  Groom and Bride (Together): Heavenly Father, we offer you our souls and bodies, our thoughts and words and deeds, our love for one another. Unite our wills in your will, that we may grow together in love and peace all the days of our life; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

  All: Amen.

  The minister blesses the couple and the congregation, saying:

   

  Minister: God the Holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love, defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace; and the blessing of God almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be among you and remain with you always.

  All: Amen.

• Closing Music: Exit music is played as the couple and congregation leave.

   

Order of Service 2: An Order for Prayer and Dedication after a Civil Marriage

(Official Church of England Liturgy & Accompanying Notes)

 

Introduction

A hymn may be sung.The minister may welcome the people and then says:

 

Minister: The Lord be with you

All: and also with you.

Preface

Minister: N and N, you stand in the presence of God as man and wife to dedicate to him your life together, that he may consecrate your marriage and empower you to keep the covenant and promise you have solemnly declared.

[The Bible teaches us that marriage is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God’s purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they shall be united in that love as Christ is united with his Church.

Marriage is given, that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children may be [born and] nurtured in accordance with God’s will, to his praise and glory. This is the meaning of the marriage you have made.]

You now wish to affirm your desire to live as followers of Christ, and you have come to him, the fountain of grace, that, strengthened by the prayers of the Church, you may be enabled to fulfil your marriage vows in love and faithfulness.

Let us keep silence and remember God’s presence with us now.

God is love, and those who live in love live in God and God lives in them. (1 John 4.16)

This prayer may be said:

 

All: Almighty God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden: cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy name; through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Prayers of Penitence

The following Summary of the Law may be said:

 

Minister: Our Lord Jesus Christ said: The first commandment is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is the only Lord. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

All: Amen. Lord, have mercy.

A minister may use these or other suitable words:

 

Minister: God so loved the world that he gave his only Son Jesus Christ to save us from our sins, to be our advocate in heaven, and to bring us to eternal life. Let us confess our sins in penitence and faith, firmly resolved to keep God’s commandments and to live in love and peace with all.

(or)

Minister: We come to God as one from whom no secrets are hidden, to ask for his forgiveness and peace.

One of the following forms or another authorized form of Confession and Absolution may be used:

 

Either:

 

All: Lord our God, in our sin we have avoided your call. Our love for you is like a morning cloud, like the dew that goes away early. Have mercy on us; deliver us from judgement; bind up our wounds and revive us; in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The minister says:

 

Minister: The Lord forgive you your sin, unite you in the love which took Christ to the cross, and bring you in the Spirit to his wedding feast in heaven.

All: Amen.

Or:

 

Minister: Lord, in our weakness you are our strength. Lord, have mercy.

All: Lord, have mercy.

Minister: Lord, when we stumble, you raise us up. Christ, have mercy.

All: Christ, have mercy.

Minister: Lord, when we fail, you give us new life. Lord, have mercy.

All: Lord, have mercy.

The minister says:

 

Minister: May God in his goodness forgive us our sins, grant us strength in our weakness, and bring us to eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

The Collect

The minister invites the people to pray, silence is kept, and the minister says the Collect:

 

Minister: God our Father, you have taught us through your Son that love is the fulfilling of the law. Grant to your servants that, loving one another, they may continue in your love until their lives’ end: through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever.

All: Amen.

Readings

• At least one reading from the Bible is used.

   

• If there are two readings, a psalm or a hymn may be sung between them.

   

• A sermon may be preached here or after the Dedication.

   

The Dedication

The husband and wife face the minister, who says:

 

Minister: N and N, you have committed yourselves to each other in marriage, and your marriage is recognized by law. The Church of Christ understands marriage to be, in the will of God, the union of a man and a woman, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till parted by death. Is this your understanding of the covenant and promise that you have made?

Husband and Wife: It is.

The minister says to the husband:

 

Minister: N, have you resolved to be faithful to your wife, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live?

Husband: That is my resolve, with the help of God.

The minister says to the wife:

 

Minister: N, have you resolved to be faithful to your husband, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live?

Wife: That is my resolve, with the help of God.

The minister may say:

 

Minister: Heavenly Father, by your blessing let these rings be to N and N a symbol of unending love and faithfulness and of the promises they have made to each other; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

The minister says to the congregation:

 

Minister: N and N have here affirmed their Christian understanding and resolve in the marriage which they have begun. Will you, their families and friends, support and uphold them in their marriage, now and in the years to come?

All: We will.

The congregation remains standing. The husband and wife kneel and say together:

 

Husband and Wife: Heavenly Father, we offer you our souls and bodies, our thoughts and words and deeds, our love for one another. Unite our wills in your will, that we may grow together in love and peace all the days of our life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The minister says:

 

Minister: Almighty God give you grace to persevere, that he may complete in you the work he has already begun, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

Minister: The Lord bless and watch over you, the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord look kindly on you and give you peace all the days of your life.

All: Amen.

A sermon may be preached.A hymn may be sung.

 

Prayers

One or more of the following prayers may be used:

 

Minister: Almighty God, you send your Holy Spirit to be the life and light of all your people. Open the hearts of these your servants to the riches of his grace, that they may bring forth the fruit of the Spirit in love and joy and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

For the gift of children:

 

Minister: Heavenly Father, maker of all things, you enable us to share in your work of creation. Bless this couple in the gift and care of children, that their home may be a place of love, security and truth and their children grow up to know and love you in your Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

For families (Option 1):

 

Minister: Father of all life, whose promise is to be the God of all the families of your people, give your grace to N and N in their new life together and bless those for whom they care. Enfold them in your love as they share in their new family, that they may grow up in all things into Christ, who gave himself that all humanity might be made one in him.

All: Amen.

For families (Option 2):

 

Minister: Heavenly Father, we are your children, made in your image. Hear our prayer that fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, may find together the perfect love that casts out fear, walk together in the way that leads to eternal life and grow up together into the full humanity of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

Concluding prayer:

 

Minister: Eternal God, true and loving Father, in holy marriage you make your servants one. May their life together witness to your love in this troubled world; may unity overcome division, forgiveness heal injury and joy triumph over sorrow, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

The Lord’s Prayer

The Lord’s Prayer is said:

 

Minister: As our Saviour taught us, so we pray:

All: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and for ever. Amen.

(or)

 

Minister: Let us pray with confidence as our Saviour has taught us:

All: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

A hymn may be sung.

 

The Blessing

The minister blesses the congregation in these or other words:

 

Minister: God the Holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love, defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace; and the blessing of God almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be among you and remain with you always.

All: Amen.

Official Liturgical Notes for the Service of Dedication

1. The Nature of the Service: The service is one in which the couple—already married—wish to dedicate to God their life together. Because it is not a legal marriage service, banns may not be called nor any entry made in the Register of Marriages.

    

2. Entrance of the Couple: In the standard Church of England rubric, husband and wife enter the church together without ceremony and sit together at the front of the church. (Please note our local parish guidance above: Bishop Rose also allows the Groom to wait in church and the Bride to walk in with her father, which works especially well within a year or so of a civil marriage, or for the congregation to applaud as the couple walks in together).

    

3. The Prayers: Other prayers may be used, especially when they form part of the particular Christian tradition of the husband or wife.

    

4. The Rings: Because the marriage has already taken place, no ring is to be given or received in the course of this specific service. If a ring is worn and the prayer of blessing is to be used, the hand should be extended towards the minister.

    

5. The Minister: When the service is not led by a priest, the Grace is used in place of the Blessing.

    

6. Holy Communion: If Holy Communion is included, the structure of the Marriage Service within the Order for the Celebration of Holy Communion should be followed. The Introduction in this service replaces the standard Introduction; Prayers of Penitence must be used; also, in the Liturgy of the Word, there must be a Gospel reading, preceded by either one or two other readings from Scripture and followed by a sermon. This is followed by the Dedication and the Prayers, and the Liturgy of the Sacrament follows. Any of the proper material in the Marriage Service within the Order for the Celebration of Holy Communion may be used.

To enquire about these contact Simon our vicar 
at office@allsaintswhitstable.com
or text 07833 448287